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The naughty list, it turns out, has a formal institutional home. This holiday tee takes the premise of seasonal moral accounting and renders it in the deadpan visual language of correctional facility branding — a joke that is precise, knowing, and immediately legible to anyone who has spent time on either list. It is the elevated alternative to the standard holiday pullover: dry, considered, and possessed of a humor that operates entirely on its own terms.
Crafted in premium ringspun combed cotton with archival print quality for a gift that outlasts the season, it holds its character across washings the way the best deadpan holds across a room — without diminishment, without explanation. For the wit who appreciates the institutional register, for the friend who prefers their Christmas gifts with a raised eyebrow, and for anyone who has ever considered the administrative requirements of seasonal moral enforcement.
The North Pole correctional facility bribery tee is the first entry in an institutional universe that rewards the completist and delights the recipient who receives the entire set. As a standalone, it is the considered alternative to the Christmas sweater — dry where the sweater is loud, precise where the sweater is enthusiastic, and constructed with a quality that ensures it is worn in January and beyond. The archival print holds the institutional branding with fidelity across every washing; the ringspun cotton holds its character through every season.
FREE SHIPPING ON PURCHASES OF Can$50 OR MORE* FOR THE SIMONS MEMBERS Free shipping on purchases of Can$75 or more* for non-members. This offer is valid in Canada only, on merchandise ordered via the website excluding taxes and gift cards. A Can$10 shipping fee will be applied to orders with a value below the amount required to take advantage of the free shipping offer. *A shipping surcharge may apply to certain items based on their size, weight, and destination. These fees are independent of the free shipping offer. Orders are delivered in 4 to 7 business days in Canada. (Please note that delivery times for certain online-only items could be longer.)
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